He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize