you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize