So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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