drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
