I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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