I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
