I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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