why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
