Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
