he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
