So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
