We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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