good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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