Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
North Korea, Best Korea!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
