I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
