Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.

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(858): View more from California

I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.

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(303): View more from Colorado

New channing tatum movie.

(858): View more from California

I'll bring my vibrator.

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(360): View more from Washington

Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.

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(435): View more from Utah

Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.

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(512): View more from Texas

we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja

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(802): View more from Vermont

Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.

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(305): View more from Florida

I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb

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