Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize