I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
