just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
