Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
