no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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