I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
