Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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