I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
