I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
handjob tips. give me some.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
