when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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