Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I cockslap morals
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
