Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
