you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
