i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Green mimosas i think yes
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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