i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
