and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
