Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize