Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
