O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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