either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize