oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
