Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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