I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
