Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
