GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
