Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
