Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
