My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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