I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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