so explain again why im purple
no
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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