My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
