do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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