Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
