dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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