And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
