I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize