OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
