I'm drive I can fine osifer
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
