New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
