So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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