one word: firstdatebathroomanal
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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