I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
