I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
