that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
