I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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