just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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