whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
