Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
